Marriage is one of the most sacred institutions established by God. From the very beginning in the Garden of Eden, God designed marriage to be a lifelong covenantal relationship between one man and one woman — a union that reflects His own love and faithfulness to His people. Yet in today's world, marriages are under attack like never before. Divorce rates are climbing, domestic violence is rampant, and many couples are living in silent despair. The question is: How do we build a marriage that not only survives but thrives?
The Problem: When God Is Left Out
Many couples enter marriage with great excitement but little preparation. They focus on the wedding day — the flowers, the venue, the guest list — but neglect the foundation that will sustain them for decades. When challenges arise — financial strain, communication breakdowns, infidelity, or simply the weariness of daily life — couples who have not built on God's principles find themselves crumbling.
The enemy knows that if he can destroy the family, he can destroy society. That is why the family is under such intense attack today. But there is hope. Every challenge plus God equals to change.
Seven Pillars of a Successful Marriage
In our book Seven Pillars of a Successful Marriage, Dr. Jane and I outline the foundational principles that have transformed countless marriages across Kenya. Here are three of those pillars:
1. Christ Must Be the Foundation
A house built on sand will fall when the storms come. The same is true of marriage. Christ must be the cornerstone. This means praying together, studying God's Word together, and making decisions with God's glory in mind. When both husband and wife are submitted to Christ, they are automatically aligned with each other.
"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain." — Psalm 127:1
2. Love and Submission Are Non-Negotiable
Ephesians 5:22-25 commands wives to submit to their husbands and husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is not about dominance or inferiority — it is about divine order. A body cannot have two heads. When each partner operates in their God-ordained role, harmony follows.
3. Communication Is the Lifeline
Many marriages die not from a single blow, but from a thousand small cuts of silence. Communication, respect, and trust are the adhesive that holds a marriage together. Without open, honest dialogue, suspicion creeps in, quarrels escalate, and intimacy fades.
Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Marriage Today
- Pray together daily — even if it is just five minutes. Prayer aligns your hearts with God's will.
- Study the Word together — Find a devotional or Bible study plan you can do as a couple.
- Practice the Golden Rule — "Do to others as you would have them do to you" (Matthew 7:12). Treat your spouse with the same kindness you desire.
- Seek accountability — Every couple needs a mentor couple or pastoral support to walk alongside them.
- Never go to bed angry — Resolve conflicts before the sun goes down (Ephesians 4:26).
Conclusion: It Is Never Too Late
Perhaps you are reading this and your marriage feels broken beyond repair. I want to encourage you: God specializes in restoration. We have seen marriages that were on the brink of divorce completely transformed when the couple surrendered to God and applied His principles. It takes humility, persistence, and faith — but it is possible.
If you want to go deeper, I encourage you to order our book Seven Pillars of a Successful Marriage. It is a comprehensive guide filled with biblical wisdom, practical exercises, and real-life testimonies that will equip you to build the marriage God intended.